Maeby, a Water Birth Story

While it's already been 5 months, I know I need to write this to remember all the tiny details years from now. I know it's delayed, but anyone with a baby knows how easy it is to put off tasks that are not absolutely necessary. Sorry for the long post, it's mostly for my own memory and I'm sure filled with grammatical errors.  I've never claimed to be a writer. Here it goes, my first labor story:

At 9 months pregnant I was washing the dishes and sneezed.  Gross I know but a bit of pee (or so I thought), quickly trickled all the way down to my ankles! Unusual ~ I figured I just really had to go. I remember thinking, "I am so over this- I want my body back!" ... Good thing I was in the privacy of my own home- that could've been really embarrassing.

It was August. Hot, but still beautiful.  The next day, I went on a walk with a dear friend of mine.  We were trying to walk that baby out of me and were sure to bring water and a cell phone (thanks to her planning really, but I remembered the water). We talked about natural inducement techniques and vitamins. Because of that talk, I decided to stash some evening primrose oil gel-caps in my purse later that day. Staying very close to home we even did some light shopping at a new antique store, it was nice to cool off in their air conditioning.  I had to change every article of clothing when I got home, I sweat so bad on that hot August walk.  Or so I thought.

It wasn't until later that night I had my first inkling that labor could possibly be starting.  A few pains, like menstrual cramps, crept up on me while in bed.  Nothing alarming, regularly timed  or really painful.  Logan put the already packed bags in the car since it was getting close to time for babe anyhow (one for labor and after, a bag of clothes and toilet trees for me, and a 'diaper' bag for the baby).  I was able to sleep through it, and wasn't worried because I had a 10:30 appointment with the midwife in the morning regardless.

At that appointment I told the midwife about the unusual leaking.  She decided to test for amniotic fluid.  Sure enough, that test paper turned blue.  She told me that my water had ruptured, most likely during that walk (I didn't mention the sink sneeze episode because honestly I didn't think much of it).  She didn't even want to see if I was dilated because any foreign article in the case of a ruptured bag of waters could introduce infection causing bacterias.  She sent me with a nurse over the glass bridge to the attached Indiana University Methodist Hospital to check into triage for another amniotic test to be certain.  I remember expressing my concerns to that nurse escort, telling her how badly I wanted a natural birth and was worried they would try to give me Pitocin since I clearly was not in active labor.  She gave me a really awesome piece of advice- she told me I could ask for a breast pump that the hospital rents to try nipple stimulation which will sometimes bring on labor.

Triage was full- I snagged the last bed.  Apparently rainy day barometric pressure changes bring on labor the same way a full moon does, who knew? In triage, I saw my regular midwife, whose name I will change to protect the innocent- Marrie.  She had seen me many times before and had once jokingly told me to go into labor on Thursday because she worked in the hospital rather than the office on Thursdays (it was a rotating midwife program).  It was nice that she was there, because my husband was not and my phone lost battery.  I needed a familiar face.  The additional test concluded I was indeed in labor (even though I was not having contractions at all at this point).  Marrie knew I wanted a natural labor and was planning to use the Bradley Method and a water tub for pain management.  She knew I did not want any Pitocin.  I told her I had primrose oil in my purse.  I have a feeling what happened next is in the gray area of medical hospitals- she never told me to use it per-say, she simply smiled, gave me two thumbs up, leaned over and quietly said, "Don't tell the nurses".  So I didn't.  I was admitted.  Logan finally arrived. We called my mom so she could start the 2.5 hour car ride down to Indianapolis.

Primrose oil.

At the beginning, I was very chit-chatty with the nurses.  I like to look people in the eyes when I talk to them, especially when someone is as helpful to me as a nurse (who offered me a turkey sandwich when some hospitals refuse laboring women food- I was very thankful).  I still wasn't in much pain so it was easy to smile and be personable.  I met the first midwife on delivery duty that day (1 of 3 while I was there).  She seemed nice.  Everyone kept telling me they wanted to give me Pitocin.  I held my ground and remembered what the escort nurse from the office told me, so I requested to try nipple stimulation via breast pump before drugs.  Perfect timing- upon leaving me and Logan with the pump, I slipped into the bathroom to self administer the primrose oil gel caps.  I used two, and wore gloves to be careful, because I wasn't trying to introduce any bacterias that could've been hiding on my fingernails.   Then I gave the pump a shot.  Thirty minutes later I had good strong contractions that the nurses could see from their monitors elsewhere. I remember them saying, "Wow!  Nipple stimulation really works!" Hahaha, little did they know it was actually the primrose oil. 

Things got a bit scary all of a sudden.  The nurse came to check heart rates- the babies was very slow.  I had to turn to my side, nurses were swarming me and I was wearing oxygen.  It was a terrifying moment, but A Baby Story on TLC had prepared me well for this- it's common, and luckily her heart rate returned to normal, (otherwise I would've freaked out and told them my primrose secret). It was around this time that my mom arrived, another comfort and assurance things were (sort of) going by plan. There had been a shift change, and the second midwife on delivery duty, Helen, came in to introduce herself.  I reminded her of my water birth plan, asking if it would be alright to still have a tub delivery given the slow onset of contractions and heart rate drop.  She said, and I quote, "Don't hold your breath", and proceeded to tell me that I needed Pitocin if contractions didn't dramatically increase from here on out.  Well, they did.  And it proved to be a great thing to have my mom around.

There in the background- my little pink vibrator.

Hours of pain went by, naturally getting more and more intense with each contraction.  At one point I expressed, "I think I'm going to throw up" and within that second immediately leaned over and puked on the floor, (so long turkey sandwich, thanks for coming- and to the sweet nurse who cleaned it up~ different from the one who served it to me as the shift had once again changed). Mom and Lo were great at taking turns rubbing my legs, neck and back.  Thank god my friend had given me a little hand held vibrating massage tool- I never thought I'd ask my mom to hand me my vibrator- yet here I was asking!  At one point Logan said he wanted to go and find more batteries for it as he thought it was dying and was really the only thing seriously helping with the pain.  I remember shooting him the same intense look as my mom as we both said, "Why would you say that?!"  ~Funny to me now.  It was nice they were both there and could take shifts helping coach me through the pain.  He was able to find batteries and the new ones were a relief in the end! If my mother couldn't be there I would've definitely needed a doula.

The midwives were not checking me for dilation updates as regularly as they do the mommy-to-bes on A Baby Story because of that infection risk.  When I first checked in that morning though, I was dilated to a 1.5- the same I had been for two weeks prior.  After contractions started, they checked me again and I was at a 3 around the time my mom arrived.  Hours had passed at this point- it was now dark- when they finally re-checked me.  After hours of intense contractions I was only at 3.5.  Not good!  I was in such pain. I remember telling Logan I wasn't sure about this natural birth anymore- that I may want the epidural after all, knowing I still had a looooong way to go. He was great about that.  He didn't cave at all, instead he reminded me of my goal- to get to that 6 so I could get in the tub, but no pressure.  He assured me that the water, the 'midwives epidural', was going to be the relief I needed and that I could indeed stick it out just a little while longer until I was there.

Maeby meeting her grandma.

My mom suggested we move.  While we had taken a walk around the ward earlier, I was in no condition to do it again.  She referred to the techniques we learned from a DVD on labor positions we had checked out from the library while she was visiting to help me nest prior to the big arrival.  We did some side stretches, leaning on and swaying with Logan, bed edge sitting and yoga ball exercises.  (We opted out of any and all hospital birthing classes, and missed the boat on the Bradley Method class, so the library and Netflix were our only real way of prepping- and it served us very well in the end). I remember being so uncomfortable on that yoga ball, as I'm pretty sure it was a small or medium ball, and given I'm almost 5'11 was in need a large or extra large.  I remember asking the nurse when my water was going to stop breaking- she said it didn't, that it'll continue leaking until I delivered- no book, movie or TV show ever prepared me for that!

Now my sense of time was totally skewed as I was in labor, but it didn't seem to have been more than 2 hours when the really intense stuff started.  I thought it hurt before- but wham- it was like my body was being struck by lightning and I couldn't help but to seize up and push in the process.  The new nurse warned me, "no pushing until you're fully dilated," as if I could help it.  She had a hunch: although the three hours hadn't passed that they wanted to wait between dilation checks I was at a 6- and indeed, I was- 6.5 actually, time to hold my breath (j/k)! They finally wheeled me to the tub room.  And thank the lord one was available even though the maternity ward was so busy!  I guess currently, most people opt for epidurals.

I had packed a bikini to wear in the tub with bottoms that untied to easily come off but at this point with such pain all modesty went out the window.  The tub was deep with seats and a little door, like an oversize whirlpool without jets. Instead, it had a removable jet-like water sprayer to fill the tub (which had to continuously be emptied once full to keep the temperature properly high). The tub definitely helped with the pain. A little.  I kept getting struck with lightening and Logan, with true Bradley style would say, "Relax your jaw..." I told him my jaw was not as important as other parts of my body and to stop saying that because it wasn't helping.  One of the best things he did for me while I was laboring in the tub was put on the disintegration loops  - hours of drone like music looped and slowly changed as the original tapes dissolved during their final performance.  The best laboring music I could've asked for.

How tired this new Daddy looks!

Between contractions I asked this nurse of mine what her labor was like. She said she had a natural labor for 19 hours that ended in a c-section because she pushed before it was time which resulted in too much swelling to deliver her baby vaginally.  That totally freaked me out- but gave me the strength to not push through about 3 of those lightening striking, whole body seizing contractions.  My dear mother was helping me breath and at one point grabbed my face to bring me back to earth.  It was time- the nurse knew it and the midwife was on her way.  As she was leaning over the tub in this final laboring stage, it was the first time I had actually looked this nurse in the eyes!  I felt so bad, she had been with me way longer than any of the other nurses, I was in so much pain that I stopped caring who the nurses were as they kept changing shifts.  I had been in a rough place these final few hours- as she was leaning over the tub to help me all I could say was, "You're really pretty".  According to the Bradley Method if a woman is in a jolly or comedic mood she isn't ready yet to push.  Good thing everyone knew I wasn't trying to be funny.  I felt bad!  She appreciated it at least.

Another random thing about labor at this point- I felt like I was wearing a beard.  I kept asking if I had anything on my face.  They said the blood flow increases to your face at this time and that is what I was feeling.  My legs and arms also felt really heavy.  It reminded me of the first time I was drunk.  I started to tell my mom about that instance: "Remember that time when I was 15 and went to visit my big sister at Purdue?  Well, she took me to a frat party and I had a mudslide..."  My moms response to this impromptu reminiscing of an improper situation, "Shhhhh". 

L to R: the pretty nurse, me, my amazing midwife Meridith.

When the midwife arrived she confirmed it- I was indeed ready to push. I was finally about to meet my little girl! She said I could push with the next contraction and I tell you what, I never expected pushing would feel so good.  Ring of fire or not, it was no lightening bolt. Maybe it was the water that helped it feel better, I don't know, but what a relief it was.  I had that baby out of me in 18 minutes.  She was born at 5:58 AM. After they got the umbilical cord unwrapped from her neck and placed her in my arms I started singing the only song I could think of that I had been singing while I was pregnant (while there were many, this was the one that popped into my head at that moment): the Orange is the New Black theme song, about animals being trapped and whatnot.  Not exactly a lullaby. Whatever, at least it was familiar to baby (we watched the whole first season the last month of my pregnancy).  I couldn't believe what I had just done.  It was weird to me that I wasn't balling.  I cant even watch A Baby Story without crying, how could I deliver my own little piece of perfection and not shed a tear?  Oh well, Logan did for both of us.

Surprisingly I only said one curse word the whole labor- a real feat for me according to anyone who knows me- but my mother doesn't appreciate swearing so I filtered my mouth, for the most part.  One slipped out between the pushing contractions, the nurse and midwife were talking between themselves when I suddenly tuned in.  I had requested to keep the umbilical cord attached for a couple of minutes until it stopped pulsing so baby would get all the blood possible- I read a study stating the immediate clamping and cutting of the cord to prevent hemorrhaging in the mother was recently debunked. Turns out the additional blood actually helped baby have a higher birth weight with no harmful side effects (as long as no milking-of-the-cord was done). At my very first midwife visit when I was about 27 weeks preggo, I had agreed to participate in an Indiana University teaching hospital blood block study, where after birth the students would collect blood from my placenta to study.  As an IU graduate, and someone who was born in a teaching hospital herself and provided a learning experience at my own birth (as a naturally delivered breech 8 lb baby), I signed up for the study.  The midwife was expressing to the nurse, that since I was leaving the umbilical cord attached there may not be enough blood left for the study.  That's when I tuned in and my response was, "What? Oh- f*** that study!" That's the only curse word I said. 

 After her very strong initial cries our baby- who we named Maebel Alise (Maeby A. for short), started grunting. They took her to the NICU for two hours because she's a grunter- still is. I knew deep down she was fine. That was the main reason we opted to deliver in a hospital however, to have a NICU close in case we needed it.  I wonder what they would've done if I refused to let her go. Who in their right mind would do that if their baby's at risk but in hindsight I honestly think they did that to make more money off us. And can you believe they gave me that Pitocin anyway?!  Yes, upon delivering my placenta.  When the (again new) nurse told me she was about to do it, I was so tired of refusing - and the baby was already born- I was just like, whatever.  She said they give it to everyone, only I never heard of anyone getting Pitocin to deliver a placenta.  There were no complications in the process.  Again, I think they did it to make the hospital more money- or maybe they had already designated it to me and would have to toss it if it wasn't administered, I don't know why they did it, but they did.  The after-birth nurse also forgot to tell me to wait for help before getting up for the first time after giving birth. Then she had to clean up a crime scene.

Turns out Maeby was not only sunny side up (looking up upon delivery instead of the usual down), but she was also born on an angle instead of coming straight down and out.   It made me feel pretty bad-ass about doing it naturally being that sunny side up babies result in even more than normal pain levels- especially in the back.  It made Maeby pretty funny looking with a lop-sided cone head and smooshed face for her first couple of days on earth.  Funny little scrawny chicken she was.  With a full head of hair due to all that good grass fed organic whole milk and yogurt and cheese I had been eating while pregnant with her and working on a dairy farm. She was 8.4 lbs and 22 inches at birth.

After over 15 hours of natural labor, here she is!

Talk about an adrenalin rush (maybe it was the Pitocin in that final labor stage), but if you're an adrenalin junkie and want the ultimate high, have a kid.  I couldn't sleep for the first 24 hours after she was born.  I tried.  On my belly, and it felt soo good.  The next day the (second) most sore part of my body turned out to be my jaw.  HA! Logan was right.  Close third was my neck and back. No one prepared me for the back pain that comes with having a baby.  Initially from labor then right into soreness from carrying and nursing baby. 

How tired I looked!  Alas, not tired enough for sleep!

When the lactation consultant came to see us for the very first time, she looked at me, looked at Maebel, back to me and said, "There's such a difference in the un-medicated child".  And she left.  That made me feel so good- after all, that's the main reason I did it the natural way.  Nursing was really important to me.  A hazy baby at birth doesn't have the same sharp instincts as a drugless baby.  In another post I'll write about nursing and other ways I save money in mommy-hood to allow me to stay home with baby full time.

Because the hospital was so full on that rainy night, we got to stay in the tub room suite for almost the whole  day while another postpartum room was to become available.  Maeby was born so early in the morning it was like we got to stay an extra day in the hospital to recover.  Initially, because I was worried about cost, I thought I would want to leave the hospital ASAP.  But because she was a NICU baby and we wanted to watch her closely (and because I had such a hard time sleeping after delivery), I'm really glad we were able to stay as long as we did.  In the end I did take lots of advice from and really appreciated the lactation consultant.  We were eventually moved to the smallest recovery room I have ever seen. Logan had to sleep in a reclining chair and there was barely enough room to move around between the chair, bed and bassinet.  The room was so small there wasn't even space for a computer in it.  They had to wheel one in with each nurse visit.  I was happy though, at least we had the luxury of having a private room to enjoy our celebratory mimosas at 1am because we couldn't sleep. Yes, I had packed champagne in my birthing bag.

So far the whole thing, after the American insurance institution took care of their part (I mean after they allotted the many funds we've already paid into it to the labor and hospital stay), we only had about $2,300.00 in expenses out of pocket.  I say so far because while she is now 5 months old I wouldn't be surprised if another bill suddenly appeared in our mailbox. I hate the healthcare system in this country.  Maybe I'll post about that another day too.

Thanks for reading, I hope Maeby will be interested in reading our story one day too. 

Some little details.